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5 juillet 2013 5 05 /07 /juillet /2013 14:58

PLEASE DO NOT MARRY IF:

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1) You are unwilling to put the needs of another person above your own.

2) You are easily offended, carry grudges and are unwilling to forgive.

3) You are an abusive person (Mentally, emotionally and physically).

4) You are unwilling to commit 100 percent.

5) You have an unresolved addiction problem.

6) Your career more important to you than the relationship.

7) You do not share the same beliefs, values, life priorities or vision.

8) You are not sexually attracted to your partner.

9) You are unwilling to agree on an approach for handling finances, children and life decisions.

10). You expect your spouse to change after you get married.

 

Remember, successful marriages are not to perfect individuals connecting but rather to people who are willing to grow closer to Christ and each other.

Don’t be discouraged if you struggle with any of the above reasons, but before you get married, do yourself and your future spouse a favor by first committing to grow stronger..

 

Thanks to our friend (Editor of article).

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23 juin 2013 7 23 /06 /juin /2013 12:16

How to Know if You are in Love

In-love.jpg

 

We all know the first signs of love: Intense interest in the other person; a quickening pulse when he or she enters the room; consuming thoughts about them when they are gone; desire for their approval; desire for union; and knowing that their love is valuable, special, and unique in your life.


But is that really love? Are those feelings you can trust, or that you can use to make a commitment to help guide you to stay when things get rocky.


You know it’s not easy to tell the difference sometimes. Because when there is strong attraction and physical desire for another person, anything your head wants to tell you that might be negative, your heart can over power.


Choosing to find real and true love is important. You need a guide that will not lead you down the wrong path. Fortunately, that guide is mutual and deep respect for your partner. Love is ultimately about respect and what you give and receive from your partner and what he or she gives to you.


Love that is based upon respect will make you happy, strong, generous, good, and worthy. This kind of love gives you the self-esteem you need to take on the world and be your very best self. This love makes you calm and confident; not in turmoil, needy and desperate for constant affirmation from your partner.


With real love, you grow more confident, your tremulous heart beats faster — but out of pleasure, not anxiety. Your feelings will deepen and your desire to be cared for and take care of your partner will not be dependent upon a “good day” or get shaken by a series of bad ones.


The essential trust and respect is always present so that even under conditions of uncertainty, the recognition of respect for yourself and each other never falters.


Mutual respect is the core concept that is the important link between a profound connection between two people and that will start your love, help you stay in love, and grow your love over a lifetime.

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22 juin 2013 6 22 /06 /juin /2013 14:34

HOW TO KNOW IF A MAN REALLY LOVES YOU

Man-love.jpg


*When a man loves a woman he treats her equally.
* He treats her like his queen and is always there for her.
* When she needs someone by her side, he is standing there.
* He never hits or belittles her.
* He is supportive and understanding.
* He shows her with his actions.
* He is affectionate.
* He makes you feel special
* He listens to what you have to say.
* He showers you with compliments.
* He sticks up for you at all times.
* He is interested in your wants and needs
*He asks for ua opinion
* He listens to what you have to say
* He asks for your opinions.
* He takes good care of you.
* How he looks at you.
* He tries to impress you.
* He calls you frequently.
* He spends more time with you then anyone else

 

From our partner

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14 mars 2013 4 14 /03 /mars /2013 00:10

Isomo k'umurkundo

 

 

Amazina tiwfashisha muri iyi nkuru ni aya Kalisa n'umukunzi we Solange.

Hano Kalisa, umukunzi we yaramaze kumurambirwa atakitaba telefone ye na rimwe.

Uko Kalisa yamuhamagaraga, Solange yitegerezaga umuhamagaye akamwihorera rimwe na rimwe akamukupa ariko kubera Kalisa atashoboraga kubaho atavuganye na Solange, kumusezerera burundu ngo yishakire undi byari byaramunaniye kuko yabonaga ko Solange amukunda nubwo solange yari yararambiwe guhamagarwa na Kalisa

Nuko mu ntangiriro z'uyu mwaka, Solange yatunguwe no kubona Kalisa atakimuhamagara, iminsi itatu irirenga nibwo nawe ubwoba bumwishe ashaka numero za Mama wa Kalisa arahamagara.

Yatangajwe no kwitabwa na Nyina wa Kalisa amubwira ko Kalisa yaguye muri accident y'imodoka aje kumureba kuko yara atakitaba telefone ye.

Kuva uwo munsi, Solange yishwe n'agahinda, atababajwe n'uko Kalisa yapfuye aje kumureba ahubwo aruko atakibona umwitaho ku buntu nk'uko Kalisa yabikoraga.

Isomo wakuramo: Burya ugukunda uzamuhe agaciro kuko ntasimburwa. Wirindira kumubura ngo ubone kwemera ko afite akamaro

 

Turashimira cyane incuti yacu dukesha iyi nkuru.

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10 janvier 2013 4 10 /01 /janvier /2013 13:51

The interesting Love story to read

Old-Couple-by-Oliver.jpg

 

A very poor man lived with his wife.

One day, his wife, who had very long hair, asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed.


The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken. She did not insist on her request.


The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife.


He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife.

He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut.

She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band.

Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.


Just: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one you love, that is EVERYTHING. Never take love for granted..!

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1 janvier 2013 2 01 /01 /janvier /2013 12:00

Most 10 secrets of hapy couples

happy-couple.jpg

 

How do happy couples stay in love, in good times and in bad? Fortunately, the answer isn’t through luck or chance. As a result of hard work and commitment, they figure out the importance of the following relationship “musts.” Because few couples know about all of the musts, I think of them as the relationship “secrets.”


1. Develop a realistic view of committed relationships.

Recognize that the crazy infatuation you experienced when your romance was new won’t last. A deeper, richer relationship, and one that should still include romance, will replace it. A long-term relationship has ups and downs, and expecting it will be all sunny and roses all the time is unrealistic.


2. Work on the relationship.

An untended garden develops weeds that can ultimately kill even the heartiest plants. And so it is with relationships. It is important to address problems and misunderstandings immediately. Some people believe good relationships just happen naturally. The truth is that a good relationship, like anything you want to succeed in life, must be worked on and tended to on a regular basis. Neglect the relationship, and it will often go downhill.


3. Spend time together.

There is no substitute for shared quality time. When you make a point of being together, without kids, pets and other interruptions, you will form a bond that will get you through life’s rough spots. Time spent together should be doing a shared activity, not just watching television.


4. Make room for “separateness.”

Perhaps going against conventional wisdom, spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Missing your partner helps remind you how important he or she is to you.


5. Make the most of your differences.

Stop and think: What most attracted you to your partner at the beginning? I’ll almost guarantee that it was exactly the thing that drives you most insane today. Take a fresh look at these differences. Try to focus on their positive aspects and find an appreciation for those exact things that make the two of you different from one another. It’s likely that your differences balance one another out and make you a great team.


6. Don’t expect your partner to change; but at the same time give them more of what they want.

If both you and your partner stop trying to change each other, you will eliminate the source of most of your arguments. At the same time, each of you should focus on giving one another more of what you know the other person wants, even if it doesn’t come naturally. For instance, instead of complaining how your partner never cleans out the dishwasher, try just doing it yourself once in awhile without complaint. Your partner will likely notice your effort and make more of an effort themselves around the house. If you do both of these things at once you’ve got a winning plan!


7. Accept that some problems can’t be solved.

There may be issues upon which you cannot agree. Rather than expending wasted energy, agree to disagree, and attempt to compromise or to work around the issue. Two people cannot spend years together without having legitimate areas of disagreement. The test of a happy relationship is how they choose to work through such issues — through compromise, change, or finding it’s just not that important to stew over.


8. Communicate!

Lack of communication is the number one reason even good relationships fail. And here is a useful format for doing so, especially when dealing with incendiary topics: Listen to your partner’s position, without interrupting him or her. Just listen. When he or she is finished, summarize what you heard him or her say. If you can, empathize with your significant other even though you don’t agree. This will take your partner off of the defensive, and make it easier for them to hear your thoughts and feelings. It’s hard to argue when you use this format, and best of all, you may come up with an understanding or a solution.


9. Honesty is essential.

You may share with your partner the things he or she doesn’t want to hear. Better this than to have him or her doubt your honesty. Mistrust is one of the key deal breakers in relationships. And once trust is lost or broken, it can take a very long time to re-establish it in the relationship.The happiest couples are the ones where honesty is as natural and every day as breathing.


10. Respect your partner, and don’t take him or her for granted.

Treating your sweetheart with respect is likely to get you the same in return. And regularly reminding them how much they mean to you will enrich your relationship in indescribable ways. When you say, “I love you,” pause for a moment to really mean it. And don’t be afraid to express your feelings of appreciation with your partner — he or she will be thankful that you did.


Making these secrets an integral part of your relationship won’t be easy. In fact, your efforts may initially seem like planted seeds that never come up.

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29 décembre 2012 6 29 /12 /décembre /2012 10:00

Fun Love Story in School

I-LOVE-YOU--.jpg 
Ceci est une lettre d'amour d'un élève de Terminale 6ème... à une

élève de 4ème... C'est sûr qu'il a embrouillé la petite.

 

MA MOLÉCULE ADORÉE, 

De même que la lune est attirée par le soleil, je suis attiré par toi avec une ardeur universellement proportionnelle au carré de la distance qui nous sépare. 

C'est une permutation circulaire que mon cœur dévie et tout s'annule en moi sauf la racine carrée de mon cœur.  

C'est en vain que j'essaie d'oublier le jour où le rayon de tes yeux s'est réfracté sur les lentilles de mes sentiments, et je ne pense qu'à toi.  

Tu es le lien géométrique de mes pensées, le sinus de mon cœur, la tangente de mon esprit, le point de concours de mes rêves, le point, d'inflexion de ma vie.

Il existe entre toi et moi, un intervalle qui n'admet pas de racine réelle et dont l'équation a pour inconnue l'infini.

Quand je considère le polynôme de ta force, je perds le centre de gravite, j'abandonne le principe de NEWTON.

Mon point de concours étant mon cœur, sa résultante prend mon cœur pour toi, vers toi. Il se lance comme une hyperbole vers l'infini, s'élève comme la phénophtaléine qui rougit l'hydrate par un phénomène de feu.

Daigne accepter un baiser inoxydable dont l'intensité et la teneur spécifique ont pour coefficient sa charge électrique. La pression atmosphérique menace de faire rage jour et nuit et de soulever la soupape de ma timidité. Si j'étais une étoile, tu serais mon pôle Nord.

Fais la synthèse de mes pensées les plus stériles et en attendant les réactions chimiques, reçois mes sentiments calorifiques et mes baisers électromagnétiques.

Mathématiquement à toi, mon facteur aimé.

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22 décembre 2012 6 22 /12 /décembre /2012 13:42

Love story touches your heart

old-couple.jpg

A very poor man lived with his wife.

One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed.

The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken.

She did not insist on her request.

The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife.

He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife.

He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut.

She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band.

Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.

MORAL: To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one you love,that is EVERYTHING. Never take love for granted.

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21 septembre 2012 5 21 /09 /septembre /2012 18:37

Real Love in Dating


Millions of us are out there looking for the “right person”—in bars, at parties, in clubs, at church, and on Internet dating sites, to name a few of the ways we look. Many of us actually succeed in finding what we’re looking for, and then we fall in love, but what happens after that?

60% of marriages end in divorce, and 50% of married women have indicated that if not for finances and children, they would leave their husbands. That leaves only 20% of marriages that would even survive if the partners felt they had a reasonable choice to leave. It is my experience—and that of many other counselors—that 1-2% of all married couples achieve relationships that are as rewarding as they had once hoped. 

The problem seems obvious: Once we find the “right person,” we still have no idea what to do with the relationship. And until we do something dramatically different from what everyone else is doing, our chances of establishing a genuinely happy long-term relationship are truly terrible.
Instead of frantically looking for the next “right person” in our life, what we really need is to learn how to create and sustain loving and rewarding relationships.

A healthy relationship is the natural result of two healthy individuals. A great relationship is much like a beautiful duet, which is played on two instruments. Before we can meaningfully participate in a duet, we must learn how to play an instrument by ourselves. Few of us are prepared to be the kind of happy and loving partner that a loving relationship requires. And that brings us to the central question: What do we all require before we can be happy as individuals? What quality must we possess individually before we can participate in a great relationship?

 

What We All Want Most — Unconditional Love

 

In order to be happy, what we all want more than anything else is to feel loved. We prove that every day with the songs we sing, the movies we watch, the books we read, and the conversations we have. Love is the strongest theme uniting all these activities, but it’s not just any kind of love we’re looking for.

What we all want most is unconditional love, or Real Love. Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It’s not Real Love when you do what I want and I like you. That’s relatively worthless; that’s earning or buying love. It’s Real Love when you make mistakes and inconvenience me, but I’m not disappointed or angry.

Sadly, few of us have sufficiently received or given that kind of love—not just during our marriages but for our entire lives. From the time we were small children, we observed that when we didn’t fight with our sisters, didn’t make too much noise in the car, got good grades, and were otherwise obedient and cooperative, our parents and others smiled at us, patted our heads, and spoke kindly. With their words and behavior, they told us what good boys and girls we were.

 

But what happened when we did fight with our sisters, made too much noise, got bad grades, and dragged mud across the clean living room carpet? Did people smile at us or speak gentle, loving words? No—they frowned, sighed with disappointment, and often spoke in harsh tones. Just as the positive behaviors of other people communicated to us that we were loved, the withdrawal of those behaviors could only mean that we were not being loved. Although it was unintentional, our parents and others taught us this terrible message: “When you’re good, I love you, but when you’re not, I don’t—or certainly I love you a great deal less.”

This conditional love can give us brief moments of satisfaction, but we’re still left with a huge hole in our souls, because only Real Love can make us genuinely happy. Without sufficient Real Love, we can only feel empty and alone, which is the greatest ongoing pain in our lives. In any given negative interaction with a relationship partner, it is the longstanding lack of Real Love in your life that determines how you feel and respond, not the behavior of your partner in that moment. In any given moment, you react to the amount of love you feel from everyone, past and present, not just from the person you’re interacting with.

 

Finding Real Love — Changing Ourselves and Our Relationships

 

Once we understand the critical role of Real Love in our lives, we can begin to do something to find it and make genuine changes in ourselves and in our relationships, instead of just playing games with relationship techniques, which never make much difference in the long term.

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18 septembre 2012 2 18 /09 /septembre /2012 18:22

253835_166155796780054_5676786_n.jpgHow many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did we learn? At home? At school? There is an art and science to building strong relationships. These indispensable tips were written with romantic relationships in mind, but with a little modification you can apply them to your friendships, family and even work relationships.

 

1. Create a safe environment where you can trust and share openly without being afraid.

Don’t interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly. No name calling. Don’t make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If you’re too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe and “calm down.”

Remember: your partner is not the enemy.


 

2. Separate the facts from the feelings.

What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I’m seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What’s the real truth? Once you’re able to differentiate facts from feelings, you’ll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.

 

3. Connect with the different parts of yourself.

Each of us is not a solo instrument. We’re more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your ‘gut’ saying? For example: My mind is saying ‘definitely leave her,’ but my heart says ‘I really love her.’ Let these different voices or parts of you co-exist and speak to one another. In this way, you will find an answer that comes from your whole self.


4. Develop and cultivate compassion.

Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you don’t have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoging respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting.


5. Create a “we” that can house two “I’s”.

The foundation for a thriving, growing, mutually-supportive relationship is to be separate and connected. In co-dependent relationships, each person sacrifices part of him or her self, compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual “I” contributes to the creation of a “we” that is stronger than the sum of its parts.

The differences between you and your partner are not negatives. You don’t need to be with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, they’re often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of good fire.


6. Partner, heal thyself.

Don’t expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and don’t try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can be supportive as you work with yourself, and vice versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.


7. Ask questions when you’re unsure or are making assumptions.

All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners’ behavior means. For example: “She doesn’t want to cuddle; she must not really love me anymore.” We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self — heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear what’s not being said — the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken.


8. Make time for your relationship.

No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. That includes making “playdates” and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow.


9.Say the "hard things" from love. 

Become aware of the hard things that you’re not talking about. How does that feel? No matter what you’re feeling in a situation, channel the energy of your emotions so that you say what you need to say in a constructive manner.

 

There you have it. Be kind to yourselves. Remember: change takes time and every step counts.

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